This year as a Christmas gift to myself I have hired a professional organizer. Although I have a shelf full of books on decluttering (ironic, I know) and am pretty good about keeping my things organized and tidy, I do believe stuff sneaks under the door and in through the windows when I am sleeping. As I get older, the task of dragging items out of closets and cabinets and deciding what stays and what goes is exhausting enough. Having someone who can help with that chore and also pack up the discards and take them to either a charity shop or the garbage bin is pure luxury.
Seeking inspiration for this undertaking, I have been revisiting Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (that I wrote about in 2015 here). I also dipped into her recent book Spark Joy in which she tells more about discerning 'joy' and offers illustrations of her concepts. If you have read either of her books, you know that her theory is to only keep those items that spark joy or at least are practical and make your life run smoothly. So instead of deciding what to discard, the focus is on choosing what to keep.
Ms. Kondo suggests approaching this task by category and lays out a specific order: clothes, books, papers, miscellaneous, and finally, sentimental items. I decided to follow this plan.
My first two-hour session with Lori the Organizer meant that we dug into my clothes closet. Granted, I don't have a huge wardrobe but still Lori ended up taking away two large bins full of tops, pants, shoes, coats, purses, and scarves. Plus, one trash bag full of throwaways.
So far, so good.
Before she left, we set up a second appointment and talked about the next category: books.
At the time — this was just a few days ago — I felt I was ready to tackle this part of the plan. But I have since had a change of heart (as you might imagine). I realized that for me, books are sentimental items and should come last...or maybe never. Some of my books have been with me for so long I would surely miss them if they were gone. En masse, my bookshelves offer comfort and companionship.
So you know what, I am not going to worry about the books! I usually donate a stack a couple of times a year to a historic home book sale, so I am passing that category and going straight to miscellaneous. (I don't feel the need to pay her to watch me sort through papers which are pretty much under control anyway.)
I told her I thought it was more important to my well-being and sense of accomplishment if we went through the places that I knew held items I could easily part with. There are a couple of small storage closets, pantry shelves, under the bed bins, and kitchen cabinets that can be dealt with.
Besides the books, the biggest collection of stuff I have acquired in the past five or six years are art and craft supplies. I do love buying art supplies and taking classes and somehow a ton of watercolor paints, brushes, decorative papers, sketchbooks, stickers and stamps, tools, and pretty much any shiny thing that has caught my eye at the Dollar Tree has settled quite comfortably into my life.
Only now, not so comfortable.
But I get ahead of myself. Lori will be here Monday and we will tackle together the pantry and kitchen cabinets and drawers and perhaps move on to discovering what is under the bed. Who knows what evil lurks there!
Everyone needs a little help now and then clearing out, and Lori and I will tackle this project together. I am not looking for minimalism. All I want for Christmas is just a little breathing room.
Usually around the beginning of the year I like to read a de-cluttering book to inspire me to do a bit of weeding out. This year I did one better. On Monday night I attended a presentation by Peter Walsh, author of many books on organization and getting rid of stuff. He is also host of the television show Clean Sweep.
With his soft Australian accent, I found him to be very engaging. He was energetic, had a great sense of humor, and was totally charming. He wandered from the stage to the audience and gave out hugs to some of the (mostly) women attending. I felt sort of like I was sitting in the audience of an Oprah show.
I liked him.
Here's the short version of his presentation.
Basically there are two types of stuff we hold on to:
I-might-need-this-someday clutter - "There is nothing wrong with this 'thing' and I paid good money for it and it might come in handy one day."
and
Memory clutter - "If I let this go I am going to lose or dishonor the memory of the person, place, or achievement from the past that it represents."
I am guilty of both.
It's with good reason, he says, that we use language such as drowning, suffocating, and can't breathe when we talk about the stuff cluttering our spaces. And our lives.
"It's not about the stuff," he says, "it's about the life you wish to live. So try this: when you leave here and arrive home, before you unlock the door to your house, think about what you want FROM your house. Use that list as the standard for your stuff. If it helps you create what you want from your space, keep it. If not, let it go."
I took his advice and when I got home I stopped for a few moments before I put my key in the lock. I thought about seven years ago when I completely changed every surface in my small house. The floors, the paint colors, the entire bathroom, knocked out a wall to connect two rooms, had a fireplace built, and designed storage. I got rid of unwanted furniture, books, lamps, wall art, etc., etc., etc. I dreamed of sleek and uncluttered and serene. I wanted a contemporary, curated haven. And I had it...then.
But, when I opened the door to my house Monday night, I saw piles of books with a few magazines thrown in for good measure; a desk with a clear work space the size of a handkerchief; an old laptop stored in the box that the new one came in; a tote bag full of receipts, brochures, maps, and other paper memorabilia from past travels (I swear I am going to put them in a scrapbook some day!); and three magazine holders storing past years' tax returns and backup information sitting on the floor in front of a bookcase.
And that is just what I could see. I won't even go into what I knew was behind closed doors and stashed away in drawers.
Besides being motivated to acknowledge how much is in my home that is not contributing to 'curated and uncluttered', I had this insight as to the tote bag full of 'memory clutter' from my travels: I keep it because it is evidence that I have (or eventually, had) a LIFE. Mr. Walsh would tell me I need to honor and respect those items. Either pull out the 'treasures' and preserve them in some way that honors them or throw the whole bag away. Clean sweep.
His latest book is Let It Go. He was signing copies after the presentation but I didn't buy it so as not to add to more book clutter. So I can't really recommend it although I am sure it is useful. My library does have one of his others - an ebook - which I now have on reserve.
A few other points:
Find a charity, any charity, to donate to. Don't worry about finding the right one or a good home for the stuff you want to get rid of.
Find the treasures and treat them with honor and respect.
Set a limit on how much space you allow shoes, or kitchen implements, or hobby supplies to occupy. (I tried this with books and had settled on three well-curated bookcases. Now they are jammed full and books have taken over the tops of tables, my desk, and even a footstool.)
Stop using the word 'later' as in 'I will put it away later.' Don't put things down, put them away.
There are two times in life - Now and Too Late.
That last one might stop you in your tracks. It did me.
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese art of decluttering and organizing, written by the Japanese home-organization consultant Marie Kondo, is my latest venture into finding the perfect way to get and stay organized.
I love that what she calls tidying up is really tossing your stuff in one fell swoop - in three to six months. Warrior style: Dramatic and quick. No ongoing battle with your clutter. She advises going through your stuff by category and in order - first clothing, then books, papers, komono or miscellaneous items, and finally sentimental items and photos. It is not so much deciding what to get rid of, but knowing what you want to keep. What brings you joy. By the time you have picked up and touched your every possession and kept only those that 'spark joy' you will have successfully cleared your home of items that have outlived their purpose and you will be living only with those items that you cherish.
Once tidied to the hilt, lessons follow on how to handle what is left: on folding your clothes, storing your handbags, streamlining your bath products, keeping kitchen counters clear, and designating a spot for every possession.
About books:
She advocates pulling them all from the shelves, table tops, chairs, bedsides and counters and piling them all in the floor. If you have a large library, you can sort them into categories if you like - pleasure, practical, pictorial. Once the books are all in one place, pick up each one individually. Wait for that "thrill of pleasure when you touch a book" and if it doesn't come, the book doesn't get to stay.
As to books that are hanging about because you are going to read them again, she says that most likely you won't. And the books you have bought and intend to read? Well, here is her take on those:
It is not uncommon for people to purchase a book and then buy another one not long after, before they have read the first one. Unread books accumulate. The problem with books that we intend to read sometime is that they are far harder to part with than ones we have already read.
Ah! The blessing and the curse for book lovers.
Ms. Kondo also suggests we talk to our things. At the end of the day, we should thank our shoes for protecting and supporting our feet, our coat for keeping us warm, our purse for allowing us to carry our daily items. I am not sure I would go that far, but I can appreciate her point.
The text is a translation so the writing seems a little choppy in places and quite often repetitious. And the word for letters and envelopes - stationEry - is consistently spelled stationAry. That irritated me.
I was also surprised at the author's claims that clients have thrown out in one day hundreds of books and 45 bags of stuff. I always think of Japanese living spaces as being crowded and compact and am amazed that there would be that much to throw away.
Tidying Up is a small book and quickly read and you might just glean a few tips for your own struggles with Stuff. Just be sure to thank it for its enlightenment and give it away when you finish reading it.
It is not surprising that I would come home from my retreat at the Abbey of Gethsemani to revisit two books I own on simplicity: Simplify Your Life: 100 Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy the Things That Really Matter and Living the Simple Life: A Guide to Scaling Down and Enjoying More.
Both books were written by Elaine St. James in the 1990s. They are a tidy little size measuring just 5½ by 6 inches and averaging fewer than 300 pages each. You could read them both in an afternoon or two.
Ms. St. James was a high-powered real estate investor with a time management system the size of Texas. Her husband Wolcott Gibbs Jr. was an author and magazine editor. She briefly recounts what led to their decisions to sell the Big House, move closer to work to eliminate a four-hour commute, and declutter, declutter, declutter.
In the first book, she offers the reader 100 specific ways to simplify in the areas of home, lifestyle, finances, job, health, and personal life. Each suggestion comes with a brief essay on how she handled these simplifications. Here are some samples:
14. Get rid of your lawn.
22. Build a simple wardrobe.
33. If you don't like the holidays, bow out.
77. Spend one day a month in solitude.
93. Stop carrying a purse the size of the QE2.
I read this book when it was published and it was one of the few I could find then that gave concrete instructions on simplifying your life. Ms. St. James is spot on. I see that of the 100 suggestions, I have accomplished about 98 percent of them. (I didn't have a boat to get rid as per idea #21: Sell the damn boat.)
Her writing style is breezy and never preachy. She offers what has worked for her and relates her suggestions with a sense of humor.
In the second book, she once again inspires with 100 suggestions and relates her own experiences in scaling down an over-bought - and over-wrought - life. There is some overlap with the first book, but this second one takes a more in-depth look at our consumer society and gives the reader some things to think about before simplifying and pitfalls to watch out for during the process. It also includes a few responses from readers of her first book and how they took on the task of assessing their lives, deciding what was really important to them, and what they did about it.
This is all good stuff. For me, it was encouraging to see how many of my own changes have been in place for years. But, as we know, one can always simplify more.
Ms. St. James has another book, Inner Simplicity, that I am on the hunt for. A nice little trio of books to inspire and not take up too much room on the bookshelf. Keeping it simple.
