A Little Help Please

Here are some of the strategies Daniel Smith used to try and overcome his anxiety as recounted in his book Monkey Mind, A Memoir of Anxiety:

Therapy - He had about six therapists. One actually pulled a diagnostic book off the shelf and read the questions aloud. Mr. Smith answered all  - difficulty controlling your worry? restless, keyed up or on edge? difficulty concentrating? irritable? muscle tension? etc. -  with a "Yes." The therapist responded: "I'd say there is something definitely off kilter." You think?

Breathe - Inhale for four counts through your nose; exhale for six counts through your mouth. This worked sometimes and for a while.

Books - In college, when he discovered Philip Roth, he felt an immediate kinship. Authors he avoided as too anxiety provoking: Faulkner, James, Cheever, Pynchon.

Chew - As in chew your nails down to the nail bed. Very painful and not really a cure. Besides, he writes, "My hands looked like they had been manicured by an immersion blender."

Hide out - He spent most of his first year in college in the basement of the library. He felt safe there. And then there were all those Philip Roth books to absorb.

Pills - One word: Xanax. He told his college roommate that they were vitamins for his heart.

Weep - Difficult to find a solitary place to cry when living in a dorm with a hundred other guys.


Alas, there may be more but I have been laughing too loudly to note them.

Monkey Mind

OK. Daniel Smith is funny. His book Monkey Mind, A Memoir of Anxiety has me laughing out loud, chuckling to myself, and nodding my head in recognition of all the fears and absurdities that are modern life.

In Mr. Smith's case, his Monkey is more of a terrifying King Kong, whereas, thankfully, my Monkey is tiny and tame enough to sit in a teacup. 

Mr. Smith is not sure when his anxiety began. Was it when he was three and almost drowned or was it when he was 16 and lost his virginity when he was seduced by a lesbian? Odd, huh? I think either event would qualify.

I am only about 65 pages into the book. It reads like something by A.J. Jacobs (The Know-It-All): funny, honest, and faces head on the author's foibles. I remind myself though, that underneath the humor and crazy situations, there is the reality of his painful struggles with his over-the-top anxiety. 

Raining Books

Sky Stack Cane Umbrella
from
The Gifty

When it rains it comes down in books here at Belle's house. 

I am within 100 pages of finishing P.D. James's The Murder Room and just began I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith. I could read the first chapter over and over. There is not a false note or a wrong word in it. I think that chapter alone should be studied in all writing classes. It is perfect.

As to the rain reference, two books that have been on my library reserve list forever showed up in one day. One is a mystery by Colin Cotterill, Grandad, There's a Head on the Beach. This is the second in Mr. Cotterill's Jimm Jaree series set in Thailand. The first was Killed at the Whim of a Hat which I wrote about here. Mr. Cotterill is also the author of the Dr. Siri mysteries that take place in Viet Nam and which I totally enjoy. 

And you have to admit, the man has a way with titles.

The other book that arrived is Monkey Mind, A Memoir of Anxiety by Daniel Smith. As I am familiar with my own chattering monkey mind, I look forward to comparing neurosis with Mr. Smith. I just hope his book doesn't give My Monkey any ideas. 

Of course, having all these wonderful books to read at once is making me very anxious. How does one cope?